There's a lot of good that's been happening in my life lately. And when there's a lot of good happening, I start to get scared. First off... I'm engaged! My best friend Kevin finally dropped down to one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm so excited (and anxious) for our new life to begin. Kevin has been there for me in some of my highest and lowest points, especially when it comes to running. He's listened to my every sob story, ever twinge, and every recap of a good workout and bad workout. He's cheered me on at many races and even sacrificed several of his own to pace me to a new PR. He took off of work during my knee surgery to take care of me as I recovered. He's celebrated all of my runner's highs and held me during all of my runner's lows. Oh, and I can't forget, he's my back up massage therapist. The poor boys hands are going to have carpel tunnel syndrome before he's 30! Lately, Kevin's been listening to me worry about an injury I don't have yet. It's an injury that's out there just waiting to happen because I'm running so well right now. Even though I believe I am training smart, something random like a Plica, could happen at anytime. I believe this because it's happened before. No matter how careful I train, how much I rest, how often I change out my shoes, or how healthy I eat, something has always happened to sideline me from my goals. Kevin has listened to me every night since my first 5K PR in the All-Comer's Meet worry about some random, life threatening, career ending, flat on my back injury that's floating out there in the cosmic galaxy just waiting for the most unopportune moment to come barreling down to earth and hit me like a sack of rocks. Most of the time, Kevin just shakes his head and laughs at me. Once and awhile he'll agree with me, saying I've probably already got a stress fracture in my hamstring muscle and tendonitis in my fibula bone. Oh and most likely a bursae exploded in my plantar fascia. Yeah, let's just say he enjoys making up super random injuries as much as I dislike thinking up injuries I don't actually have yet.
Why Kevin puts up with my insanity, I will never know. Why I put myself through it, I may never know either. Yesterday on an easy 10 mile run, I spent the first 4 miles worrying about all the different types of injuries I could get if I was not careful. I spent so much time focused on this absurdity, that I hadn't even noticed that my legs were feeling great that I was running faster and longer than I had planned to. When I came back to reality, I shook myself out of my funk and decided to focus on the here and now, not the then and when. I had a great run and was able to savor the things I love most about running: the sweat dripping down my face, the sun on my shoulders, the feeling of the ground underneath my feet, the sound of my breath, and the effortlessness of the run. I wondered to myself, why can't I enjoy this feeling on every run? When I'm injured, this is the feeling that I miss the most and I long for. Yet, when I'm healthy, I do not permit myself to take pleasure in it.
So, with the help of my soon to be husband, and my own commitment to dealing with my internal struggles, I'm going to strive to live more in the moment. To live in the run. No more worry about tomorrow. No more concern about the what if's, the I can't's, and the woe is me's. I need to remember that each injury has made me stronger and smarter and if something does occur, that it's not the end of the world. There's always another race. I will come out of it strong and healthy like I have every time before. Ha, that reminds me of what my massage therapist Kelly Woodke just told me, "Wow, you always get so much stronger and faster after every injury. It would actually be a blessing if you got injured again, so you could be even faster!" Ha, ha. Well I don't want attempt to purposely get injured, but what a different take and more positive way to look at what I've been fearing the most.
Happy Running!
